Friday night I went to bed late cause it was datenight with my wife. We went to a club and danced for hours, which is not common for us, having kids that are very young.
In the morning I woke up early with an inspiration to meditate. I felt an odd tension throughout my body that was stiff and 'unconnected'. I imagined sitting first-thing in the morning would assist my body to normalize.
I put on a Vipassana audio to hold the space alongside my sitting, and I began with Anapana. I remained on my head and face for 15 to 20 minutes, and I simultaneously relaxed areas on other parts of my body that would build up in tension.
These areas that store tension are 'stored emotional patterns' based on habitual tendencies. In my body these areas are my jaw, my belly, my shoulders, and the top of my head region. Constantly I found myself going back to these areas while being aware of my breath; releasing any buildup of tension, relaxing my body, and feeling a degree of gratitude (inner smiling) for my life, my wife, the evening we had, and where I feel we are heading in life.
After 15 minutes of observing my head, a deep sighing breath took place. Spirit breathed me.
Deep sighs are important. They tell us we've realigned with our Nature.
I then found i could breath a little easier, as if some restriction had released around my mid-chest. I became aware of my body below my head and I felt the difference in the quality of relaxation of my head region (which had just caused the deep sigh) and the rest of my body, which I had not gotten to yet.
This is how I knew I had accessed another emotional pattern which had arisen to the surface for me. The body acts as a massive tool to help us recognize and release ‘what comes up for us’ in daily life.
As I would sit on a region with acceptance and peace in my heart, a sighing breath of relief would happen followed by a deepening of my natural breathing.
And this simply happens when our awareness is placed on our bodies for a period of time, feeling our bodily sensations, while honoring and relaxing into each area we are being aware of.
I'd move my awareness into new areas, it would take about a minute, then these parts of my body would relax and the wobbling of in-and-out tension alongside tightness of breath would dissolve.
Then came another deep sighing breath. I began feeling more expansive and free. I smiled and offered more gratitude for my sitting. “May all beings be free”. And this “metta” (sharing of loving-kindness) did wonders to further expand my relaxed, loving nature.
I realized what Robert Tennyson Stevens says about ‘healing in octaves’; we heal something, then sometime later we heal it again, yet now at a deeper layer. My body experienced an emotional pattern releasing in my head region, which brought this portion of my body into alignment with my God-Nature.
Yet this relaxed peace only lasted until I moved my awareness to a new region I had not yet explored. So again tension would arise. And this is why it's so important to do our entire body and not just the breath/ nostril area (this article explains this more).
As I felt my body piece-by-piece relaxingly while simultaneously relaxing, releasing, observing, and smiling... again... a deep sighing breath. And minutes later, another, and then, another. More tension dissolving, and more joy returning.
When i got to my shoulders, for example, they were 2 inches higher than normal, because they were so tense. I observed and felt them until... they came down, down, down, and relaxed completely, Ahhh.
And 'shoulders' signify “the weight (stress) of the world on our shoulders” along with indifference, feelings of overwhelm and a lack of faith in oneself.
So another layer was healed.
Then came my lower belly, with more tension. I love feeling my belly. My pelvis and abdomen were feeling bloated with pressure. I had eaten a sandwich at 2am, and it had been sitting in half-digested stagnation.. My awareness this region was so soothing. Gurgles of air, release of pressure, movement in my bowels, deep states of relaxation in very deep areas in my pelvis.. then... another deep sighing breath.
Upper legs- the ability to "follow my dreams", act, and create for myself- same thing; deep yawning and sighing breaths of relief. I felt so connected with each part of my body.
I was so grateful, because not all sittings are like this. Though each sitting does heals us of mental and emotional patterns layer-by-layer, one cannot say when the next profound meditation will be and what will release. That's for the Laws of Nature to decide.
When it’s happening, it’s like, “ Bring it again!! Yay!! Bonus round!!” Because my body Loves being relaxed, free, and healthy.
I thought of my wife and how she was still in bed sleeping. I thought, “Girl, you gotta get in on this, it's better than the club!!”
By the time I reached my feet and began to return to my head, I felt so expanded and joy-filled, I knew it was going to be a great day even though I only slept half a night.
I was able to feel myself again, and feel my desires for my upcoming day. And being clear on my day is essential as a parent with little girls.
I love this part about Vipassana. I get to realign with my potential for great opportunities and i get to move upscale in emotions, feeling enthusiastic whenever it's needed.
If you'd like to learn more about Vipassana and experience its healing Graces in your life, contact us for a life-guidance session or visit our Services page.
Enjoy your sittings!!
Vipassana New World